GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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