im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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