i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
