She said her name was "party"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
