from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
