Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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