ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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