Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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