You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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