put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
