I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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