We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
