I think i sorta joined a cult last night
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
