I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
