we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
