That's intense
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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