Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
