is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
