Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So many bounce houses so little time
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
