when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
