This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
