I wanna bring you to show and tell
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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