Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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