Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
