Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
