i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
