He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
