I accidentally had phone sex last night
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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