No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize