Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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