Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
