So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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