you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
