the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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