your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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