Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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