Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
