Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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