You really coming over, don't trick.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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