do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
