i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
