Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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