you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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