let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
