do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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