1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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