do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
