He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
