had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
