just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
