you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
