When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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