Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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