Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
