My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
