community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
