I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize