so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm too high and old for this...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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