hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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